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Hope
I would take guys into restaurants and everybody knew to take off their hats. One of the guys, who I still talk to, asked me, “Why do you pray? You know what we do here, right? We sell drugs. Why do you pray? Our business is ...
She noticed the holes in my face. She was like; “Oh, you’ve got a lip ring?” I said; “Yeah, I had to take them out to get a job, you know, working for the man.”
When God spoke to me I left my career to be a stay-at-home mom. I left all the glitz and glamour and all the supposedly wonderful things. I started completely over, but with God in my heart this time.
Then it got to where I was breaking into her house. Then I started buying checks from people, and forging people’s names on everyone else’s checks. Then the burglaries began.
The dealers turned to me and said, ‘Look man, you need to go get some help.” When you’re standing in a very small room using drugs with two other guys that are the same as you, and they look at you and say, “You need to get h...
Really, I wanted to die. I was doing all the things that were killing me anyway. I had so much pain, hurt, and hatred I didn’t know how to process any of it.
I had a big head and a big attitude to go along with it. I had the house, cars, the boat; the middle class dream. All of a sudden I started making some real bad choices.
By the time I was thirty I had experienced five failed marriages. I felt like I could do nothing right;
"I really wanted to call him and say, “I’m sorry for what I had done.” Months earlier if you’d asked me I wouldn’t have admitted to have done anything wrong."
He would tell us horror stories about Lucille Ball and Desi Arnez. He told how unhappy they were and how they would fight and throw expensive dishes in their world of chaos.