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Hope
When God spoke to me I left my career to be a stay-at-home mom. I left all the glitz and glamour and all the supposedly wonderful things. I started completely over, but with God in my heart this time.
I had a big head and a big attitude to go along with it. I had the house, cars, the boat; the middle class dream. All of a sudden I started making some real bad choices.
By the time I was thirty I had experienced five failed marriages. I felt like I could do nothing right;
"I really wanted to call him and say, “I’m sorry for what I had done.” Months earlier if you’d asked me I wouldn’t have admitted to have done anything wrong."
"I said to myself, “Okay God if I die tonight, I’m going to die obeying you.”
I didn’t tell very many people about this for a long time. I didn’t want them to think I was crazy. I know I ran up on some wicked stuff that day.
I thought, “She’s always going to be there. She wouldn’t go. Why? We’re Christians. We have Jesus as the center of our life. Why would she leave me? She’d never leave me. We’ve got a big house. We’ve got the farm, the eight a...
I did the empty chair procedure. I asked my father all these questions. Then I was to get up and sit in the chair and answer the questions. This didn’t make a bit of sense to me but I did it.
My brothers and I were separated. When we came back together in our parents home it wasn’t any better. There was still a lot of abuse going on, so I moved back out the spring semester my senior year.
We felt a confirmation in our heart that this was going to be a son and that we should name him Judah, which means Praise.