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Hope
"The truth is, I can walk through that church that I grew up in with my head held high because I know that my God has changed me."
Then I actually started dating a boy who used them recreationally. It led me to use them more and more, which led to a path of just, it led to addiction. I started to become dependent on them.
So, my two year old, at one point, brought me a bottle of vodka. He said; “Here’s your drinking bottle mommy.”
Reality is being so angry at your Mom for doing drugs but then a month later you're doing them with her.
The times I would overdose, and go to the emergency room the doctors would say, “Do you have a death wish?”
I just said; ” Look (in my mind) God, Buddah? I don’t know who you are. I just want to know the truth. Everybody can’t be right.........But I think if you’re God, you ought to be able to answer me right now.”
I had twenty-seven operations and four plastic surgery operations. When I got out of the hospital nine months later I looked okay on the outside; but inside I was still wounded.
"I started to understand that was the void I was trying to fill is that I didn’t have Him in my life."
We got busted three times within three weeks. The last time we got busted was with felony possession. I was sentenced to eight years in prison.