Find Hope

He was 60. I was 14.

"I started to understand that was the void I was trying to fill is that I didn’t have Him in my life."


I was sexually abused when I was thirteen and when I was fourteen by two different men. One of the men (the one when I was fourteen) is the one that introduced me to alcohol. It was a friend’s Dad, her Dad. So, I was around him a lot. It went on for a long time. I was fourteen and the man that abused me was in his sixties. So, it was a big age difference. I started drinking alcohol then, I was introduced to alcohol. I believe that I was addicted the first time I tried it. I remember that I loved the way it made me feel. Even though I got sick, I wanted to do it again.

I was raised in a Christian home. I attended church regularly. My parents were great parents. I started drinking on the weekends. I was around a friend. She drank and her parents drank so I had access to alcohol. I kept it hidden pretty well from my family. I got pretty deep into drugs and I went to my first treatment center at age twenty-five. I kept going back and couldn’t stop even though I didn’t want to it was like a compulsion. I had heard about Teen Challenge and a friend of my Mother knew about it.

I called Chattanooga Teen Challenge in 2004. I went through their discipleship program and the women there just spoke truth into my life. I started getting free. I started falling in love with Jesus. I developed a personal relationship with Him through that program and things started to change for me. I started to understand that was the void I was trying to fill is that I didn’t have Him in my life. All the hurt and the pain through what I had gone through in my childhood, I was trying to cover all of that up with drugs and alcohol and trying to find acceptance through using, just wanting to feel good and not wanting to face the pain that I felt in my heart. I believe it was when I got prayed for, for the baptism of the Holy Spirit and just started experiencing the power of God. I had never really experienced that before and just breakthroughs through times of worship.

He is setting me free and every day I am moving forward and I know that I don’t have that desire to use anymore because I know that He has filled that void. He has given me a peace in my heart. The verse that I stand on is; John 10:10 The thief comes to steal, kill and destroy but I have come that you may have life and have it more abundantly.